Let Your Heart Sing and Your Spirit Soar

Journey to Self Discovery Newsletter

February 2005

Volume 1, Number 2

A wise man will hear and increase in learning and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel

Proverbs 1:5

I. Welcome

It’s February and some of us are still working on our New Year’s resolution. Others have begun to feel some frustrations with the resolutions we made.  I think it is important that we be sure that the resolutions we made are in fact very important to us.  It is also just as important that we review the steps we chose to achieve our goals.  The steps we implement to achieve goals are very important and are part of the process that motivates us to continue.  If you are one of the people who are beginning to feel like giving up, re-evaluate your goal and the steps you chose.  If necessary, revise the goal and/or steps to ensure that you are able to achieve your goal.

Please enjoy this issue.

                                          Millie Padilla

II. Self- Discovery - My True Self

My life is a journey and I travel many roads that lead to unknown territories. I have to admit that it is often new and exciting. Each road ends with a lesson that adds joy and peace to my life.

I also have to admit that, occasionally I find myself on a road that I have traveled before. When this happens, I become bewildered and frustrated. It took me a long time to realize that being on a road previously traveled meant that there are more lessons to learn that add dimensions to who I am.

Sometimes I reflect on where I have been, what I have learned, and where it is I am going these times. These times are opportunities to search deeper into my heart and spirit and grow.

In order for me to grow as a child of God, it is very important for me to maintain an attitude of openness.

Taking care of me is an essential part of my journey. Self-care is includes all of me—mental, physical, emotional and, most importantly, spiritually.

Daily I ask questions of myself. Why is it I do/did certain things? Am I doing it because I really want to or is it to get approval? What could be the possible consequences of my actions? What value am I providing to others and myself? Have I inadvertently judged someone or made comments that can be offensive.

I promise you, you will feel wonderful.

Remember, only you can make the decision to embrace all that life has to offer.

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III. Quote of the Month

"The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going."

-Anon.

I like the quote above because I believe that it is very true. If we know where we are going, then the probability will be that we are also prepared to overcome obstacles that we encounter.

However, before we begin traveling we need to know why we are taking this journey. What are we hoping to learn as we pass new and diverse road. What do you want to see along the way, as well as at the end of the journey? What do you believe you will feel with each new experience? What are you expecting to hear from the people you meet? What are you expecting at the end of the journey?

We have endless places to look for information to help us learn and grow. It is available to us from all directions, especially in through the internet. The experiences of other people can prove invaluable to us. However, we are all unique and other people experiences cannot determine how we will react or what we learn.

The next section provides my reflections on listening. Listening is one of the most important skills needed. I am talking about listening to your heart.

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I. Things to Reflect

II.

Excerpt taken from “Things to Reflect, Journey to Self Discovery – My True Self– Book Two”

Excavate

Definition:  (1) to uncover or expose by digging; to dig out 

From the time we are infants we are exposed to people, things as well as ideas and beliefs.  For the most part we are exposed to what our parents choose. With the passing of time, as we continue to grow and learn to think for ourselves, our minds will process and use that which is acceptable to us and/or in keeping with our parents wishes.

We go to school, eventually – hopefully – graduate and begin a new chapter – a career.  These years expose us to new and different ideas. Some we immediately discard, some we embrace with curiosity and others intimidate us and we push these to our subconscious mind.

Hopefully, in early adulthood, many of us come to a realization that our wants and desires do not necessarily reflect who we are, but the wishes and dreams of our parents or others.  This is the time for us begin to search for our true self.  Now is the time we begin excavating for the true self.   Some people will call this the beginning of living a purposeful life, others will call it a “moment of insanity,” and hope we come to our senses.  Yet, others will embrace you and offer support and encouragement as you dig through layers of ideas, beliefs and self-doubt..

 It does not matter what your age, the reason, or how often you have tried to make sense of who you are, there will come a time when all the layers have been removed and your will know who you are, what you believe in, and why you are here..  This is the moment you will have a song in your heart and a joy for living unparalleled. 

This will be your “aha” moment and every obstacle, every tear and every self-doubt that went before will seem worthwhile. You will look forward to the future with excitement, I promise!

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III. Article:

The article below is from my website, www.coachmillie.com

IV. Your Life Your Choice

How often have you said to yourself, and probably to your family and friends; that it is not your fault that you are unable to have the life you really want. You live the life you have, no matter how painful it is, because that is what “life/fate has dealt you.” What is happening is not your choice.”

ü Have you found that your family and friends agree with you?

ü Have you heard any of them respond to you, “this is the real life”?

ü Or, have they responded by saying, “it’s not what you do, but who you know.”

We justify our present situation by believing we are hindered by money, education, time, lack of family support, etc. We even often believe that we were destined to have unfulfilled dreams or to be martyrs and suffer in silence.

When you were growing up, were you told that you belonged to the “poor” group or the “other” group; that you were different from the people across the street or even across town from where you lived/live?

Have you found that your own family and friends have the same perception of your life?

Quick, run! Run fast and do not look back!

Of course, you cannot run away. Running away would be worse. You will then be telling yourself and everyone around you that you cannot change.

To grow strong it is important to face these thoughts and comments squarely and with the knowledge that they are not true. There are countless of examples of people born poor, abused, and neglected, yet they have achieved freedom and true success.

We are bombarded with statements that take away our personal power on a daily basis and it is time that we took ownership of how we control our thoughts and actions. We often hear pessimistic statements from family, friends, and co-workers as well as strangers. The sad thing is that since they believe it is true, we accept them. We allow these comments to sneak into our subconscious mind and get in the way of our dreams.

Lack of money, education, time or family/friend support may be challenges to overcome, but that is all they are - challenges. Challenges can be overcome with determination and hard work. First, however, it is very important that you acknowledge that you can overcome obstacles.

Listen. Take note now. I know that you do have the personal power to counteract these disabling thoughts. You also have the power to overcome the challenges that you encounter.

I want you to consider, if only for five minutes, what your life would be like:

ü If you woke up tomorrow morning feeling happy, healthy, energized and looking forward to the day?

ü What would happen if you got to your job/business knowing that you are able to do what is necessary and do it with quality and pride?

ü Were looking forward to having dinner with your family/friends and catch up on the day’s activities and/or make plans for the coming weekend?

ü Were looking forward to spending an evening watching a movie with your family/friends or just spending quiet time with yourself?

ü our day is over. You encountered some unexpected challenges throughout the day, but you handled them with minimal disruption. A couple of unfinished things can be completed tomorrow. However, you still feel a sense of satisfaction with how your day went. You also had some great moments during the day with co-workers, family and friends. You are feeling peaceful as you get into bed. It was a great day after all!

I want you to consider the following simple concept:

“Change the way you think about things, and things will change.”

It takes repetition to change old habits and replace them with new ones. I have read that to replace an old habit you need to repeat the new habit for 30 days for it to become automatic. I want to suggest here that you start considering the quote above as you begin to change old habit. Also, remember, like the example above, it really all depends on how you are willing to look at your situation.

You have the opportunity now to teach yourself very specific steps that will allow you to respond positively to situations instead of reacting.

Below are some steps to consider as part of your personal growth:

1. Acknowledge where you are today.

This does not mean that you should say to yourself that you are poor, born on the wrong side of the road, or incapable of reaching your dreams.

I mean that you should recognize that you are a child of God. As a child of God, you have His love and wisdom available to you at every moment. When God said He is always with you, He is. God’s love his unconditional.

If you are reading this, then somewhere in your heart you felt a touch of hope, of longing. This is your moment to move forward, one-step at a time. This is your chance to grow and become the woman God created you to be.

2. Look at what you have now and truly appreciate it all.

You may think or even believe that you cannot change the direction of your life because of what you lack. I tell you here and now, that you are one of the lucky ones, especially if you live in the United States or one of the countries where people have freedom. There are countries where the opportunities are plentiful for people.

It is impossible not to be fully aware of how poor some other countries are. I mean there are places where people do not have food, clothing or a roof over their heads. Many of these countries have people who have cruel dictators. Often, though, we see the spirit of these people shine with faith and hope. Their bodies imprisoned by these circumstances, but their heart and spirit fly free. Their hopes and dreams cannot be taken away or destroyed.

3. Identify the different roles you represent in the space of a day/week/month. For example, daughter, mother, spouse/partner, sister, friend, employee/business owner, activist, church member, communities volunteer, etc. You will be surprised at how many roles you play throughout the day without realizing it.

Write these roles down on a piece of paper. Look at each role individually and notice how each role makes you feel. If you are like me, you will experience a variety of feelings. It is okay to have these feelings. For now, just write then down and acknowledge how many roles make the women you are today. Put the list in a place where you can just look at it for a few days.

4. After a few days, take the list and on the top of a paper write the following headings: “Roles,” “Negative Feeling,” “Positive Feeling,” and “What I can do.” Next to each role write down what you believe are the positive and negative feelings for that role. Do not fill in the “What I Can Do” just yet. For example, let us say you are a mother (single or married) and you have 2-3 children. Your might write:

Role	Negative Feeling	Positive Feeling	What I can do
Mother	1) Guilty because I do not have enough money to give them all they want. 2) Sad because I don’t spend enough time with my children	1) Children are wonderful and we have fun together. 2) I am proud of how my children are growing

As you make the list, only list only one or two things. Do not get bogged down. This exercise is only to make you realize how your feelings are affecting each of the roles you play. Do the exercise for each role.

Look at what you wrote closely. Notice that there are two sides to each role. Sometimes we only see the negative that we almost forget there is a positive side.

5. Now, I want you to fill in the final column, “What I Can Do.” For example,

1) I can do my best to provide my children with a roof over their heads, food to eat and clothes to cover them. I will save money so that on special occasions I can give them something they really want.

2) I will take two to three days a month to spend with my children at a park, rent a movie, play board games, or visit family; plan a weekend together monthly/bimonthly, etc.

6. Take action.

Take some action immediately. Don’t wait or you may become side tracked.

Trust me when I say that you will begin to feel better immediately. These are simple steps to incorporate to ensure that you and your family.

Remember, it is your life and it is your choice. If you are dissatisfied with your life, then change it. No one else can do it for you.

Yes, you can do it.

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Often, we stay focused on the past and we do not fully live in the present, nor truly prepare for the future. Are you ready to take responsibility for your feelings and actions, and create a future of love and peace?

As a Life Coach I can help you rekindle the light of love in you that will help you move into the present and help you create the future that you deserve. If you are ready to reveal your true self, call me to schedule a free half hour consultation.