Your Life Your Choice
How often
have you said to yourself, and probably to your family and friends; that it is
not your fault that you are unable to have the life you really want. You live
the life you have, no matter how painful it is, because that is what
“life/fate has dealt you.” What
is happening is not your choice.”
ü
Have you found
that your family and friends agree with you?
ü
Have you heard
any of them respond to you, “this is the real life”?
ü
Or, have they
responded by saying, “it’s not what you do, but who you know.”
We justify
our present situation by believing we are hindered by money, education, time,
lack of family support, etc. We
even often believe that we were destined to have unfulfilled dreams or to be
martyrs and suffer in silence.
When you
were growing up, were you told that you belonged to the “poor” group or the
“other” group; that you were different from the people across the street or
even across town from where you lived/live?
Have you
found that your own family and friends have the same perception of your
life?
Quick,
run! Run fast and do not look back!
Of course,
you cannot run away. Running away
would be worse. You will then be
telling yourself and everyone around you that you cannot change.
To grow
strong it is important to face these thoughts and comments squarely and with the
knowledge that they are not true. There
are countless of examples of people born poor, abused, and neglected, yet they
have achieved freedom and true success.
We are
bombarded with statements that take away our personal power on a daily basis and
it is time that we took ownership of how we control our thoughts and actions.
We often hear pessimistic statements from family, friends, and co-workers
as well as strangers. The sad thing
is that since they believe it is true, we accept them.
We allow these comments to sneak into our subconscious mind and get in
the way of our dreams.
Lack of
money, education, time or family/friend support may be challenges to overcome,
but that is all they are - challenges. Challenges
can be overcome with determination and hard work.
First, however, it is very important that you acknowledge that you can
overcome obstacles.
Listen.
Take note now. I know that you do have the personal power to counteract these
disabling thoughts. You also have
the power to overcome the challenges that you encounter.
I want you
to consider, if only for five minutes, what your life would be like:
ü What would happen if you got to your job/business knowing that you are able to do what is necessary and do it with quality
and pride?
ü Were looking forward to having dinner with your family/friends and catch up on the day’s activities and/or
make plans for the coming weekend?
ü Were looking forward to spending an evening watching a movie with your family/friends or just spending quiet time with
yourself?
ü Your day is over.
You encountered some unexpected challenges throughout the day, but you
handled them with minimal disruption. A couple of unfinished things can be
completed tomorrow. However, you
still feel a sense of satisfaction with how your day went. You also had some
great moments during the day with co-workers, family and friends.
You are feeling peaceful as you get into bed. It was a great day after
all!
I want you
to consider the following simple concept:
It takes
repetition to change old habits and replace them with new ones. I have read that
to replace an old habit you need to repeat the new habit for 30 days for it to
become automatic. I want to suggest
here that you start considering the quote above as you begin to change old
habit. Also, remember, like the example above, it really all depends on how you
are willing to look at your situation.
You have
the opportunity now to teach yourself very specific steps that will allow you to
respond positively to situations instead of reacting.
Below are
some steps to consider as part of your personal growth:
or incapable of reaching your dreams.
I mean that you should recognize that you are a child of God. As a child of God, you have His love and
wisdom available to you at every moment. When God said He is always with you, He is. God’s love his
unconditional.
moment to move forward, one-step at a time. This is your chance to grow and become the woman God
created you to be.
You may think or even believe that you cannot change the
direction of your life because of what you lack. I tell you here and now, that
you are one of the lucky ones, especially if you live in the United States or
one of the countries where people have freedom. There are countries where the opportunities are plentiful for
people.
It is impossible not to be fully aware of how poor some other
countries are. I mean there are
places where people do not have food, clothing or a roof over their heads.
Many of these countries have people who have cruel dictators. Often,
though, we see the spirit of these people shine with faith and hope.
Their bodies imprisoned by these circumstances, but their heart and
spirit fly free. Their hopes and
dreams cannot be taken away or destroyed.
Write these roles down on a piece of paper. Look at each role
individually and notice how each role makes you feel.
If you are like me, you will experience a variety of feelings. It is okay
to have these feelings. For now,
just write then down and acknowledge how many roles make the women you are
today. Put the list in a place
where you can just look at it for a few days.
|
Role |
Negative Feeling |
Positive Feeling |
What I can do |
|
Mother |
1)
Guilty because I do not have enough money to give them all they want. 2)
Sad because I don’t spend enough time with my children |
1)
Children are wonderful and we have fun together. 2) I
am proud of how my children are growing |
|
As you make the list, only list only one or two things.
Do not get bogged down. This
exercise is only to make you realize how your feelings are affecting each of the
roles you play. Do the exercise for
each role.
Look at what you wrote closely. Notice that there are two
sides to each role. What happens is
that we become so focused on the negative that we almost forget there is a
bright side.
1) I can do my best to provide my children with a roof over
their heads, food to eat and clothes to cover them. I will save money so that on
special occasions I can give them something they really want.
2) I will take two to three days a month to spend with my
children at a park, rent a movie, play board games, or visit family; plan a
weekend together monthly/bimonthly, etc.