In
preparation for this article, I moved away from my present concept of what
“happy life” meant to me. I decided to look at each word and see how they
fit together to reflect the state of being we call a happy life. It was
interesting what I learned about these words.
One
of Webster Dictionary’s definitions for “happy” is “being fortunate;
enjoying, showing or marked by pleasure.” and ”life,” defined as “the
interval between birth and death.” However, my favorite definitions are,
for happy, “having the feeling
arising from the consciousness of well-being; blessed” and for life,
“the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the
existence of an individual.”
How
many of us have thought of “happy”
and “life” as defined above. I know that for me it was a rewarding
experience to examine these words from a different perspective.
I
learned to believe that what constituted a happy life was wonderful moments
experienced by what happened to me at certain times in my life. Now, of course,
I know that my happy life includes moments of sadness, disappointments,
frustrations, and, maybe even tragedy.
I
know that my happiness is contingent upon my making conscious efforts to ensure
that my life is a happy one. I had to accept accountability for my life.
This included acknowledging that I have the ability and the power within me to
have thoughts and take actions that afford me a happy life.
To
reflect my belief I combined those definitions to create my personal power
sentence of a “Happy Life” as
follows:
I
have the choice to make my life a happy one by accepting that my daily thoughts
and actions can award me with an awareness of well-being and blessedness.
I
believe that most of us can have a wonderfully happy life. We only need to
acknowledge that the power is in our hands, and that we need only recognize and
learn what we need to do to ensure we have a happy life. However, we do need to
remember that having a happy life does not preclude moments of sadness or
tragedies. We just need to develop skills and a support group that will help
bring us out of moments of anger, pain or sorrow.
Most
religions invite you to explore your “whole” self to bring forth the
feelings of peace and joy. Once you learn to bring peace and joy to your life on
a regular basis, you will have a happy life. Many religions suggest specific
actions that you can integrate into your daily life to achieve peace and joy for
yourself and your loved ones.
Tony
Robbins, in his Personal Power tape series and his book, “Awaken the Giant
Within,” recommend that you ask yourself questions daily – in the morning
and in the evening. The morning questions invite you to consider what you can do
to bring joy and satisfaction for yourself and others throughout the day. The
evening questions invite you to consider how your actions throughout the day
made you feel. Reflecting on your responses to questions will have an empowering
effect on you.
If I may I would like to make a request. Create a list of two
or three morning and evening questions. Write them on two pieces of paper or 3x5
index cards. Put the pieces of the paper with the question near your bed, or
your bathroom mirror, or even your refrigerator. Put the questions in a place
where you can view them easily.
The index cards you can carry with you and review them on
your way to and from work. When creating your questions be sure to use language
that re-enforces the belief that you have the resources to having joy and peace.
For example, your morning questions may be, “what can I do
today to make me feel great? Why will that make me feel great?
Now, let’s say you are a single parent of school age
children with a full time job and attending school/workshops to further your own
career opportunities. You want to be sure to spend time with your children and
that the time you spend together is quality time. You ask yourself the first
question: “What can I do today to make me feel great?” A response to that
might be making plans have a buffet style dinner with the children talking about
the day. Afterwards you can all do your homework together in the living room or
family. This will provide an opportunity for the children to ask you questions
if they are having difficulty with an assignment. It will also provide them with
a visual picture of you working on your assignment, hence re-enforcing the
importance of completing school assignments.
Now the second question, “Why will that make me feel
great?” I have to tell you the benefits to positive action steps have many
layers. In the above scenario you play different roles: a mother who knows how
necessary it is for family to spend time together. You are a caretaker who
provides meals for her children (health). You are an ally who ready to sit down
and listen. You are a mentor who encourages her children to continue learning
throughout life. In one simple, loving act you have given your children
wonderful moment to treasure. These benefits that have strengthened the
family unit will make you feel absolutely wonderful.
Your evening questions might include, “what did I do today
that truly made me feel great?” and “why did it make me feel great?” I
spend quality time with my children today after having an extremely busy week. I
know that having spent some real quality time with my family makes me feel on
top of the world. I know that I feel stronger, more confident that my
relationship with my family is deeper and more meaningful. Why did it make
me feel great? Because I showed my family that I loved them and enjoyed
spending time with them. I am honored by their love and joy. As a
child of God (or the Universe) I am a conduit for love.
Do this for one or two weeks and see what changes these
questions can bring about in your life and your overall perception of life. I
can almost guarantee that you will notice some incredible changes.
©
Millie Padilla, May 4, 2001