DO I REALLY DESERVE
TO BE HAPPY
I
was talking with someone about life, family and the future.
They asked me if I believed I “really” deserved to be happy, and what
did I do to earn that happiness. They
wanted to know how I knew I was happy. I was unable to give a quick and
resounding yes to that question, and did not have a response to the other two.
You
can imagine how surprised I was not to have responded immediately with a quick
and easy yes and answer the questions. That
moment’s hesitation made me realize there may be a small part of me that still
felt some uncertainty, a little unworthy.
For
a few days after that conversation, I thought about these questions.
I could not help but think about it since, as often as I made that
statement in the past, I never really asked that question of myself.
I thought, I prayed and I meditated about the concept of happiness.
I
made a list of all the things that made me happy.
My list consisted of things that brought me a sense of peace, a sense of
joy, and most importantly, a sense of completeness.
My
Old Self
I
believed that in order for me to be truly happy I would need to be successful.
Again, I felt a sense of incompleteness with this statement. I realized
at this point that I had the most common definition of success and not one that
was true for me, Milagros (Millie) Padilla.
I
wondered how many other women (or anyone) had believed that for them to be truly
happy they needed to be successful and used the “common” definition that I
had used.
Here,
let me give you an example. My
definition of success was:
2.
The time to be
able to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted – freedom.
3.
I had a job
that made me feel good – satisfaction.
4.
Great
relationship with my family and friends – love and friendship
5.
Enough money in
the bank for my retirement - Security
6.
A close
relationship with God – Spiritual oneness
Now,
understand that there is nothing wrong with any of the above goals.
They are all good and admirable and would bring almost anyone
fulfillment.
However,
I want you to think about these questions:
What
are the things I really, really want to do and how much money do I need to
make it happen? How much money
must be coming in on a weekly/monthly basis in order for me to make these
things happen?
How
much time do I want to spend doing each of the things I want to do or what
is the minimum amount of time needed to appreciate what I am doing.
How
will I know that my business (or career) is bringing me satisfaction? What
do I need to do to ensure that I will continue to feel a true sense of
satisfaction?
What
criteria am I putting in close to ensure that I have a great relationship
with family and friends? What
am I going to do to keep these relationships harmonious and exciting?
At
what age do I want to retire? How much money will I need to retire? What are
my goals for my retirement?
What
have I planned or outlined for my continued spiritual growth? How will I know (how will I measure) that my connection
to God is continuously growing? How do I keep love and joy alive in my
heart?
I
would imagine that it would be hard, if not impossible, for anyone to achieve
any of their goals unless we know why these things are important to us.
Take
the first one above, for example. What
specifically do you want to do and by when?
Do
I want to travel to every country in the world? Do I want to visit every
state in the US? If I visit one
country each year, how many weeks will I stay in that country?
Have I done enough research on the country and do I know/understand
their laws? Am I going alone or with family or friends?
Do
I want to write one book, ten books? Will I write one book a year or ten
books within 5 years?
Do
I want to volunteer with an organization to help in another country for one
week, three weeks per year? Will
I want to do this every year, or just for five years?
How
much money do I need for each venture?
Where will the money come from?
How will I spent the money (how much for souvenirs for others, how
much for my home, how much on lodging and food)?
Most
importantly, do I really want to do these things? Why do I want to do? Is it
something others are doing and I want to be part of the crowd?
What do I believe it will bring me? How will it make me feel?
What are the short and long- term benefits to these goals?
What
values are playing in my goals (adventure, freedom, love, strong
relationships, etc)?
In
order for me to answer the question I posed above, “Do I really deserve to be
Happy” it is necessary for me to know that I am able and capable of achieving
what I really want.
Yes,
I deserve to be happy. I deserve it because I am a child of God, and all loving
parents want all the best for their children.
Therefore,
unless I create goals based on people, things, and places that bring me joy then
I am fooling myself. I will be
acting in a way that states that I do not deserve to be happy and demeaning
God’s love.
I
sincerely believe that we are all capable of being truly happy.
I believe that we have the ability to create a phenomenal and exciting
life. I also believe that we know how to design a life that includes all those
aspects of living that brings us real and powerful joy.
We only need to let our hearts and spirits soar with faith and without
fear
************************************
Often,
we are so focused on the past that we are not fully living in the present and
not truly prepared or working for the future.
Are you ready to take responsibility for your feelings and actions, and
create a future of love and peace?